A tired day

Even though i had a somewhat peaceful night until around 2 am.  I woke up with my back hurting and instead of taking a pain pill i got up and came downstairs and got me a sip of water and then i tried to lay down.  I tossed and turned.  finally i knew the pain wasn’t going to go away.  So i gave in and took the pill.  As i laid there waiting for the medication to kick i thought of my life and all that i had endured.  Yes God gave me a miracle that today, tomorrow and past days i am able to once again live life.  No I am not pain free my injuries and yes i have my good and bad days.   But, God granted me what i asked.  I never asked to be totally pain free from my injury/illness.  When i had that one on one with God i ask for days of relief so that i could live life again, so that i could be a servant to him.  I told God i realized that he hadn’t given the world the technology to cure spinal cord injuries and that he hadn’t given the world the knowledge to cure MS.  That wasn’t what i was asking.  I was asking to have more good days then bad, I was asking to be able to stand up and walk, I was asking to not be bedridden and of no use to the world. I didn’t know why he chose to forsake me but his word tells me that it’s not for me to understand things of the world, I am to stand strong in his word and trust in him.

Finally sleep came to me as the medication took the pain away and i slept until 10 am.  I woke up and i didn’t feel rested.  I was sluggish all day long.

The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day so Lexi, hubby and I took several walks around the park and we just basked in God’s beauty of tranquility that is around us. 

One camper pulled out and 2 more campers and van pulled in.  I was sitting outside reading Job.  As i felt God telling me to read Job.  I know the story about Job, but just never really truly studied Job.
As i was reading 2 lady’s walked up and seen that i had my bible in my hand and they asked if they could visit.  I said sure.  I got up and laid my bible in my chair and walked over to the road and introduced myself.  They said they were from SC and that they lived in their motor home.  It was a husband and wife and the wife’s mother.  I told them we too lived and traveled in our home.  We spoke of places we have both traveled and adventures in our lives.   She said they were headed west to Texas.  I told her we were headed south to Florida.  After awhile we finished talking and they left and i picked up my bible and went inside. 

Mental, physical and esp emotionally exhaustion is horrible and i could still feel those effects on me.  Hubby has too as he spent the day from watching tv and taking naps.
Later on hubby and I talked about what we wanted to do.  He asked what i wanted to do and i told him i had no clue and he felt the same.  He asked if i was feeling a direction from God and i told him no.  He said he wasn’t either.  He said he has prayed and asked what our next move should be but God hasn’t answered.

Later right as dusk was setting in I took Lexi for another walk and we walked by the ladies camper that i had spoken to earlier and they had a camp fire going.  They invited me and Lexi to sit and talk.  I stood back a bit from the fire and my asthma do not go together.

The husband Jack spoke to me and he said.  I have watched you walk several times today and i get the feeling you are lost.  I told him i do feel lost.  i feel as if the world is moving on by and i’m stuck with no place to go.   He said, “the wife tells me your going to Florida” I replied yes as soon as our dog gets her staples out.  Jack asked if we were taking I-10 and i said yes.  He said, “there is a corp park by the name of East bank campground on the Seminole Lake.  You need to stop there, it’s beautiful and maybe it will give you time to heal your heart.  I looked at him and he said, “your eyes and face show a women who has had her heart broken.  In time God will heal that heart and when he does you will know the direction you are to go.  Until your heart is healed take time to just enjoy his beauty”.  I didn’t go into details of what had broken my heart and he didn’t ask.  I thanked him and he replied, “ we are all to be obedient servants of our Lord and Savior.  Sometimes God ask us to do his will and not ours and we must obey.  When we do we are blessed.  Someday your will reap the riches in which you have endured.  Just keep doing as my wife said you were when she approached.  Read his word and listen to what he has to say”.  We then discussed traveling and how much they loved it and all the beauty they have been blessed to see.
Finally, it was getting chilly and Lexi was ready to finish her walk and we headed back home.

I got online and looked up the park he was talking about and i asked hubby what he thought about going there and he said why not.  God has not lead of us where he wants us to go next.  We will just take our time and travel as we have no plans until March for a wedding in Florida.  In the 4 yrs we’ve been on the road we have never spent the night in Ga and hubby said, “now then you will be able to add a new state to your map”.

I am still exhausted and it’s about 8.30 pm and now i am saying good night.