It started off with a nippy morning and dew on the ground but once the sun came out it warmed up nicely. It almost felt like winter in the South instead of Fall in the Midwest. Later in the afternoon the clouds covered the Sun and the wind picked up and it began to cool off and then the Sun came back out and finally dawn approached.
Here lately I just really have no energy and I really don’t even want to be around people. It’s been a very stressful week for me as so much has been happening in my life. As I posted earlier in the week my Aunt Rosie who took me in and raised me until I 6 as her daughter passed away. We had been estranged for many years but the past few years we reconnected after I returned home in 2013. She was ill and no one was making her do anything about it so I stepped up to the plate and we became mother/daughter again. Old wounds were healed and a bond that never went away but was just buried deep inside resurfaced. Needless to say once again I ended up getting hurt very badly but this time it was due to her dying and leaving this evil place called earth. Not because she left me on the door step of my Biological Mother. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful she was able to get her life and heart right with God and she is now in no more pain or struggling to breathe. It’s just that when you see things going on that are not right or the last wishes of loved one not being honored it’s hard to sit by and condone it. Of course being the outspoken person I am that didn’t happen. Guilt has a way of getting the best of people and of course as always I'm taking the blame. I have no guilt or regrets and I know that I was the best daughter I could be in her last few years of life. We were able to repair old wounds and build an even stronger mother/daughter bond. For that I am grateful and I know my conscience is clear and when I stand before God he will tell me that I was an obedient servant in taking care of my Mommy in her last few years here on earth. Plus I'm just not sure health wise I could do it. I don’t need to have another stroke and I’m suppose to stay as stress free as possible. Some people just don’t realize or simply just do not care how sick others are, some diseases are hidden on the inside and unless your around that person many hours day after day you may have no clue how sick they are or just what they are dealing with. Tomorrow is her services but I will not be attending as I just can’t attend something I know in my heart isn’t right and when your told by evil people mean things, it really makes you not want to be around them. I have a problem with keeping quiet, I believe in speaking my mind and I believe in standing up for right and against what is wrong. So it’s best for me to simply stay away and let my mother have her day. Don’t assume anything is a hard lesson I have learned in life! This saying is very true at times and apparently it fits me right now! hehe
I enjoyed sitting outside on my deck enjoying the serenity of my surroundings. It’s so nice and peaceful here in my little piece of world where my home on wheels is parked right now. Rarely a car goes by and the dogs, cats and goat can roam free without restrictions. I can sit on my deck and enjoy a morning or afternoon cup of coffee. I’m away from all the drama that people seem to enjoy these days and with no TV or radio on I don’t have to listen to what is happening in the world around me. The world is so full of evil, violence and it seems Loving one another is a thing of the past?
The Home on Wheels is sitting on a piece of property DH is leasing. It’s owned by a friend we’ve known for years. It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles that a RV Park does but it has the serenity you can’t get from an RV Park. It does have the sweet peace and quiet that the desert does of being parked out in no man’s land with no one in sight. Barely a car goes by and you don’t have to deal with people.
DH has set up pretty good, water is from a pitcher pump like in the old days electrical is solar/generator and an old house sat on the homestead years ago had a septic tank that made into a sewer RV hookup.
Yes, it’s like boon docking or mooch docking where conserve is a must but the benefits out weigh the cons any day! For me and my little world right now I am simply enjoying the few precious times I can enjoy life and not worry about what is happening outside the world around me and for that I’m grateful because … Serenity is Sweet!!
