Today is a beautiful Day

 
  Wow what a few hours of sleep can do when it is peaceful and your soul is filled with God’s love.
The past few days i have been struggling but no more.  I now stand firm in my faith as i have always known it.  My Lord and Savior has embraced me and made me whole again.  No matter what events may take place today, tomorrow or the next day I will stay strong.
I have the love, grace, compassion of my loving father above.  The sun is shining.

We had plans to meet friends this morning.  Hubby and I discussed it and called and canceled.  We are both mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.  He needed time alone in the woods and we are parked in tranquility place.  Only the camp host and 1 other camper other then us are here.  Hubby took his walk and cleared his head and i got some peaceful sleep.

The sun is out and we took a walk around the park and enjoyed God’s beauty. 

Then i got my lawn chair out and sat outside and read God’s word.  Before this all started i had started reading Romans and so that is where i went back to.  My study this afternoon was Romans 8-15.  I’m not going to post it you can go read it yourself and if you do not have a bible you can go to this website .. http://www.biblestudytools.com/  .. type in the version of you choice and the chapter and scripture numbers.

I didn’t get any pictures but the dogs are loving having an entire camp area to their selves.  We let them roam and run free as we walked and their little tails were just wagging.

I’m sure what tonight holds, maybe a trip to Wal-mart or a quiet evening at home.

Rejoice God is an awesome God, Glorify him and hold true to your faith.  Satan has some nasty tools to use against us but if we hold fast in our faith God will bless you.

Opening and Reading God's Word

I am still awake, sleep seems no more. I have not slept in days. God seems to deal with me by laying things on my heart and causing me to lose sleep.
Until all these events took place i used several online tools to help guide me in my devotional times. One is God’s Daily Word. I decided to check my email and there it was right on top and here is what today’s devotion is about ....

The Protection of His Armor
In the message "Dressed For Battle" we considered how we all face an enemy who seeks to engage us in battle each and every day. The attacks are deceptive, but extremely methodical, as the enemy tries to pull, push, and lure us off the path of following after Christ. We then saw how our best defense against such attacks is to get properly dressed by putting on the full armor of God; "so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand" (Ephesians 6:13).
So i picked up my bible and this is what Ephesians 6:13 says
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

I closed my bible and i am not sure if it was pray or just a conversation with God. Because i spoke out loud and said Lord how do i do this?
I went back to my email and it said this
Psalm 27:8
"My heart says of You, 'Seek His face!' Your face, Lord, I will seek."

The armor of God is only available to those who diligently "Seek His face!"; to those who have given Him the totality of their life through a submissive faith in Jesus Christ. The armor of God is not a self-help formula to keep us protected and focused as we advance in the world's system; it's a covering of protection God provides as we enter into His presence and are reminded of His truth, faithfulness, and majesty.
Getting dressed for battle is therefore never a spiritual checklist or routine set of prayers. We receive His armor - in effect, He dresses us - as we humble ourselves and come before Him in prayer with a heart that desires to follow wherever He leads. Our Heavenly Father will never let us enter our daily battles without proper protection if we are diligent in seeking Him;

(Psalm 34:10)
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
I continued to read …

How often should we seek Him? Well, how often do we wish to be naked when the enemy attacks? Getting dressed is not a one-time Salvation event nor even just a first thing in the morning event. We must put on His armor and keep it on throughout our day by developing the priority and habit of constant communion with God; "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). His protection against the enemy comes only as we enter and remain in His presence.
The attacks will surely come, but they need not be feared if we are properly dressed. Let's learn to walk and minister in this world without ever leaving the presence of the Lord. Let's seek Him in all we do and live each moment with the protection of His armor.

Psalm 27:8
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek
The armor of God is only available to those who diligently "Seek His face!"; to those who have given Him the totality of their life through a submissive faith in Jesus Christ. The armor of God is not a self-help formula to keep us protected and focused as we advance in the world's system; it's a covering of protection God provides as we enter into His presence and are reminded of His truth, faithfulness, and majesty.
Getting dressed for battle is therefore never a spiritual checklist or routine set of prayers. We receive His armor - in effect, He dresses us - as we humble ourselves and come before Him in prayer with a heart that desires to follow wherever He leads. Our Heavenly Father will never let us enter our daily battles without proper protection if we are diligent in seeking Him; "The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing" (Psalm 34:10).

How often should we seek Him? Well, how often do we wish to be naked when the enemy attacks? Getting dressed is not a one-time Salvation event nor even just a first thing in the morning event. We must put on His armor and keep it on throughout our day by developing the priority and habit of constant communion with God; "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

His protection against the enemy comes only as we enter and remain in His presence.
The attacks will surely come, but they need not be feared if we are properly dressed. Let's learn to walk and minister in this world without ever leaving the presence of the Lord. Let's seek Him in all we do and live each moment with the protection of His armor.

After i read this i felt peace and i thought sleep would come but it didn’t instead God spoke to me and said
Pennie you are my child and I will provide you with the armor you need to defeat this battle. You have fought many battles throughout your life and each time you have come out stronger. You threatened to remove wall hangings with my words, yet they still hang there. These were gifts given to by my children to help strengthen you when need them. Go read them one at a time and then pick up my word and let fall where it may. After you have done this get on your knees before me and talk to me.

Here is what the first says …

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I read that and then i sat down and opened my bible to where it may …

Proverbs 3, 1-35

1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, 2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. 3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. 8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. 9 Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; 10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. 11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. 13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, 14 for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. 17 Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed. 19 By wisdom the LORD laid the earth's foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; 20 by his knowledge the deeps were divided, and the clouds let drop the dew. 21 My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; 22 they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. 23 Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; 24 when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. 25 Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, 26 for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared. 27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. 28 Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow"-- when you now have it with you. 29 Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you. 30 Do not accuse a man for no reason-- when he has done you no harm. 31 Do not envy a violent man or choose any of his ways, 32 for the LORD detests a perverse man but takes the upright into his confidence. 33 The LORD's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous. 34 He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble. 35 The wise inherit honor, but fools he holds up to shame.

I then got up and read the next one and it says …
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:1-13

1 Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends. 2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. 10 I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I did these things and I got on my knees and bowed over my couch and i closed my eyes and prayed. Lord give me the will, strength, courage and armor i need to prevail. I love you with all of my heart and soul. Forgive me for ever doubting your love. Please give me direction in what i am to do next that your will and not mine or anyone else be done.

And as peace came over my soul and joy filled my heart my precious, most wonderful loving God spoke to me and said.

Pennie I did not send you to Leakesville for Rick Dostal or Jim Reed benefit, I sent you there for the need of my children.

The way you left there is not right and I will deal those who caused this turmoil. I still want Lenny and you in Leakesville, it's where I called you. There is a purpose for you. I did not lead you to get close to my adult children and ESP my youth children. Your life experience is needed in that church. A child of mine needs to hear your testimony. Send a e-mail to those whom you are to talk to tomorrow and this what you are to say and stand firm. I feel the e-mail is private and between the parties involved please respect me for this decision.

If you haven’t read my testimony and would like you can find it on my old blog at http://southwindadventures.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-testimony.html

Good night and May God Bless you all

Trusting in the God

I have spent the past 2 days with new friends and even those these friends have been kicked down just as we have and treated in the same manner.  They hold firm in their belief in God. 
Today i received a phone call that i should have not answered, but i did.  Once again i was hurt with venom spewed of untruths.  The spiritual man took the phone and i have no clue what was said as we stopped at a pier just as i needed it.

Hubby stop to talk some men and I kept walking.  I stood on the edge of the pier as i looked into the deep water a voice inside me said “ jump come to me and you will be free of your pain from your so called loving God and his supposedly followers”.  Yet another voice reminded me of another time when i attempted suicide and failed.  The voice said to me “ once you were astray and burden with suffering and pain and attempted to take your life when i was not ready to receive you.  You promised me, yourself and your family you would never do that again.  When i spared your life and you woke up laying in that bed you spewed your anger at me and i embraced you.  I granted you your miracle and i consoled and shielded you from any more pain.  You once again embraced me and that was all you needed.  You searched for your miracle in earthly ways when all you needed to do was to search in me.  You are going through a struggle because you are strong and you were too close in our relationship.  You have held fast before and you can do this again”.  My word tells you that earthly things and worldly men will cause you pain and suffering.  I never promised to shield from enduring these things.  Because on earth good verses Evil but in the end good will win.

I promised to hold you close and keep you safe.  I promised to love you even when there are times you can not love me.  I know deep in your spirit filled heart the love is there.  It has never left you in all that you endured in your life.  You are my child and do what i ask, you love with all of your heart and soul and you are good.  Our enemy is full of venom and sometimes he uses good things to bring my children down.  But as long as you hold fast in my word you will be strong and endure.  My child you are and my arms wrapped around you and this to you will endure.  My will never takes you where my grace can not get you through.  Hold fast my child great things are ahead of you.

About that time hubby walked up and ask what i was thinking.  I didn’t say anything.  Then Randall the spiritual man started to repeat the conversation and i went off.  I wanted to hear none of .. i want no part of their so called God.  Then we went to eat the waitress that we know told me that another dear friend of ours had just left.  Steve my good friend who was suppose to be in Las Vegas was in Gulfport.  How could that be.  I called him and after several attempts i got a hold of him and came to see us.  We introduce Steve to our friends Randall and Janice and Steve said come with me.  I asked how and when he got back and said to me.  Our God told me that i needed to return to Gulfport that a good friend of mine was going to need me.  He said i see the hurt in your eyes and i feel your heart is breaking .. talk to me my friend.  We spoke awhile and he said to me.  Listen to what our God is telling you.  If you pick up his word and let it open where it may and if you only read 2 words do it.  If you do this you will get through this.  This is not going to be a easy battle.  Unfortunately our enemy uses the things closet to us against us.  You may not go back to the RV Ministry but you will go back to God’s ministry because God still has a purpose for you.   I have seen first hand how God has filled you with his spirit.  Even those who do not know you know that you are filled with God’s spirit.  As you know i do not easily accept and get close to others but the first time i saw you in the RV Park, I knew God had sent you to me and that you were godly person.

I couldn’t sleep again tonight and so i got online and i read 2 comments and I knew God sent these to me.  So i sat and thought of all that had happened today and I picked up my bible and i did what Steve said.  I would read a few words and then close it.  I tried to pray but i couldn’t.  I picked up his words again and was able to read a bit more.  Here is what i have been able to read tonight.

Psalm 42:9-10
9 I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" 10 My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"

Psalm 55: 1-23
1 Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; 2 hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught 3 at the voice of the enemy, at the stares of the wicked; for they bring down suffering upon me and revile me in their anger. 4 My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me. 5 Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. 6 I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest-- 7 I would flee far away and stay in the desert; "Selah" 8 I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm." 9 Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech, for I see violence and strife in the city. 10 Day and night they prowl about on its walls; malice and abuse are within it. 11 Destructive forces are at work in the city; threats and lies never leave its streets. 12 If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. 13 But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, 14 with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God. 15 Let death take my enemies by surprise; let them go down alive to the grave, for evil finds lodging among them. 16 But I call to God, and the LORD saves me. 17 Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice. 18 He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. 19 God, who is enthroned forever, will hear them and afflict them-- "Selah" men who never change their ways and have no fear of God. 20 My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. 21 His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. 22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. 23 But you, O God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption; bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days. But as for me, I trust in you

Psalms 109
1 O God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, 2 for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. 3 With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. 4 In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. 5 They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship. 6 Appoint an evil man to oppose him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. 7 When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. 8 May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. 9 May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. 10 May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. 11 May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. 12 May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children. 13 May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation. 14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out. 15 May their sins always remain before the LORD, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth. 16 For he never thought of doing a kindness, but hounded to death the poor and the needy and the brokenhearted. 17 He loved to pronounce a curse-- may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing-- may it be far from him. 18 He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil. 19 May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, like a belt tied forever around him. 20 May this be the LORD's payment to my accusers, to those who speak evil of me. 21 But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. 22 For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. 23 I fade away like an evening shadow; I am shaken off like a locust. 24 My knees give way from fasting; my body is thin and gaunt. 25 I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they shake their heads. 26 Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love. 27 Let them know that it is your hand, that you, O LORD, have done it. 28 They may curse, but you will bless; when they attack they will be put to shame, but your servant will rejoice. 29 My accusers will be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak. 30 With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng I will praise him. 31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him.

I still do not know what events are going to take place.  I still can not pray.  I am thankful that i can pick up his word and read a little bit.  I’d appreciate it if you all would continue to pray for me as i struggle this battle inside of me.