Today is St. Patty’s Day and the sunshine and warmth have disappeared. It’s a blistery day! The wind is blowing and the cold has returned 
I found this online and it really fits how I feel ..
I’ve spent my entire day in bed trying to recover. I still have a Ouchy tooth. But I’m still wishing you all A …
This past week has been gorgeous weather but I’m sick and stuck in bed! I did get a few days that I could get a walk in. On Tuesday I had to visit my dentist as I have a tooth ache and of course it couldn't be pulled that day so I had to reschedule for April 28th, Yep you read that right unbelievable! I woke up Friday morning and I had a very swollen jaw! I ended up going to the dr and getting test ran to see where all the infection had gone. Yep, it had spread to my sinus cavity and glands. So more medication, bed rest and eating soft foods was the orders.
Since we’ve had beautiful weather I’ve been enjoying it from within 
I tried sitting outside to enjoy some of the fresh air but the minute the wind hit my jar instant pain so it was back indoors and so I left the front door open and enjoyed the sunshine from a laying position.
I’ve been eating soft foods and so I’m sure that the scales is going to reflect it soon But I’m not on a diet, I’m learning to change my life style and so as with all things the good comes with the bad. Right now I’m doing well to eat things, so mac and cheese, ice cream and yogurt and cottage cheese with chicken noodle soup have been big in my food intakes. Anything that will fill the tummy and keep the jaw from hurting!
March came in like a Lion and I’m so hoping that March will go out like a Lamb! We got more snow and cold temps the first of March! I can not express how much I am so ready for Spring, Sunshine and warmth! I have spent my entire winter snuggled up inside and most of it has been spent recovering. I am happy to announce that I have finished the fillings and now I have to wait a certain amount of time before my expanders can be removed and my implants installed. A tentative surgery date to finish up my breast is set for June 22nd. It’s been a long & painful recovery but I’m just thankful that as of now my breast are cancer free! I will have yearly checkups to make sure that no masses or cancer returns.
On another note of health issues … My hysterectomy has been moved up from June to May 4th! New cancer cells have been found but on a good note they are not attached to a blood supply or no masses. I am starting another round of treatment until I can get my surgery to remove my female organs. I am dreaming of being able to head south next winter. Florida beaches are calling my name.
It’s hard to believe that today is your 76th birthday and you are not here to celebrate it with us. I know your no longer on earth but you will always remain in my heart. I know that your celebrating your birthday with you beloved son Steven who you lost so many years ag, our beloved Bobbi Jo who God called home way to early. I know that you and Momma Viv are happy to be reunited. I am happy that you are no longer suffering in pain and discomfort as cancer ate away at your body.
Yet my heart still aches for you, my heart has a void, my heart is still broken. I know that you wanted me to be strong not only for you but my brothers and sisters but daddy no matter how hard I try to let my heart mend it’s still broken over losing you. There is a piece of me that is missing and that piece is my daddy. I look back through pictures of you during your last days here on earth and I remember how hard you fought not for yourself but for your children who were not ready to let you go. I remember you telling me you were ready to go home. You were tired of fighting a disease that was eating your body up. You fought hard and strong and you stayed true to your words that you would fight till your very last breathe for your children.
Family meant everything to you, your children and grandchildren were the apple of you eye, the pride that you proudly bared to all that we were yours. The hugs, the kisses, the I Love you every time we said good bye. You made sure that every time we had to part we knew just how much you loved us. You wore your heart on your sleeve when it came to your family and friends.
I cherish the moments we had together. I recall each and every time you held me in your arms. I close my eyes and fill you with your arms wrapped around me. Oh what I would give to just have you hold me in your arms one more time, to hear you whisper I love you baby girl, just to see your sweet smiling face.
Daddy you are not here to celebrate your birthday but know that you were in my thoughts all day. I have cried several times today yearning to have you hold me and tell me it will be alright. I tried to hold close to my heart that you were ready to go home and leave a world your body was filled with pain. Instead of thinking of how much I hurt that God called you home before I was ready to let you. I pray to God that he let’s you know that I think of each and every day. I love to be in the room where you took your last breathe, I love to look at the picture of you that hangs on my wall, I love to feel that you are with me here in your home and in my heart.
Daddy I cherish the family reunion that you so wanted to have before you had to say good bye to us all. When I look at these pictures I think if only I had known how little of time we actually had left. I know in my heart you crossed over knowing that your children loved and adored you, your children knew and felt all the love you had for them. So on this day I want to say Happy Birthday Daddy. I love you more than words can say!
This week and entire month is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness. This disease is close to my own heart as I was diagnosed with SPMS = Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis in September 2000. I have lived almost 15 years with this debilitating disease. A few years ago test revealed that I actually have PPMS = Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis It’s hard for anyone looking at me to realize what I endure each and every day living with this disease. On the outside I look healthy and most people think there is nothing wrong with me. But that is far from the truth!
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/What-is-MS/Types-of-MS
I place this ribbon with pride on my blog site in hopes that not only awareness but a cure will some day be found for myself and so many others that suffer with this disease. I have placed a link you can visit to learn more about the disease.
This picture above says it all and it’s exactly how I feel so many times when someone ask me why I walk with cane and then replies but you look so healthy. Looks can be deceiving! Inside my body I have my own war going on. I have days I am so fatigued that getting out of bed and going to the bathroom is exhausting in it’s own. Other days I feel like I’m almost human and the pain I experience is unbearable at times and other times I feel I can live among the human race. For years I have struggled with daily task and I’m trying my best to involve good diet and exercise in my daily routines.
I will not lie, it has been a very hard journey for me. There are days I just do not want to crawl out of bed but I know that I must. Exercise is the only thing that is going to keep my muscle built up and keep me out of a wheel chair ( I have been there done that and I hated it) I’m a walking miracle and I thank God everyday for blessing me with that miracle. I also know that if I do not make myself get out of bed and do my daily routine of exercise even though I’m exhausted my muscle will deteriorate again. As you know last winter I spent the entire winter doing water therapy to build my muscle back up and then I spent all summer walking to keep my leg muscles strengthen up.
Living with a disease even though it may be what I call a silent disease ( where you know you have it , but others may not) this winter I have found some DVD programs that I can do to my own modify version that will keep my muscles toned and strengthened up. If you or someone you know needs to lose weight, strengthen up your muscles or get or just needs to learn to eat healthier please click on one of my links I have put on my blog and I will gladly help you get started. The best part is it’s Free! I have joined a free facebook group and created one of my own just so that I can help people all over the world to get healthier. It doesn’t matter if you do not have a injury, illness or just want to learn more about health and fitness. Come join me!
Hope your all having a great week!
