Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary to my husband!  32 years ago today we said “I Do”  We’ve have shared tears of Joy & sadness, we’ve had good and bad times, we’ve weathered many storms through the years and battled personal & health issues.  But the one thing through all the years and all the good and bad times is our Love has remained faithful and true!  No matter what life has thrown our way we have weathered it all and remained standing together as one!  We are blessed to have the faithfulness and love that God has blessed us and together we love and worship our heavenly father who blessed us with the Love for one another.  I couldn’t have received a better gift from God than the gift of being your wife.  I am beyond blessed to call you my soul mate, lover and best friend.  Happy Anniversary honey and I look forward to many more years of being your wife.

 

Home from Surgery

On May 4th I had my complete hysterectomy due to cancer and genic genes.  I spent the night over night in the hospital and I’m so happy to be back home in my own bed!  

I decided to spend a bit of time outside enjoying the warmth and a bit of sunshine.  As you are aware it’s been a ruff year for me fighting health issues.  My entire winter has been spent mostly recovering from surgeries and health issues.  I have one more surgery scheduled for June 23rd and I pray it will be the last and our lives can finally turn around get some normal to them without running back and for to doctors and treatments.  I am doing pretty good considering what all my body has been through.  My summer looks to be spent recovering from surgeries but I’m beginning to see the end of the tunnel and hopefully that is daylight looking through the end of the tube. 

My baby says “I Do”!

It’s hard to believe that my baby is 27 years old and is just now finally getting married.  It’s hard to believe how fast time flies and they grow up into young men.

No matter how grown he is .. of course he will always be Momma’s baby!  I am proud of the man he has become and I’m happy that he has finally decided after 7 years of being with the girl who stole his heart to make it official.  I’m proud to welcome our new daughter Kelsey into the family although she has been apart of the family from the very beginning.

They chose to get married near the home that my children were born and raised in until adulthood.  Yes your seeing correctly they got married on a boat!  It was the perfect weather for a outside ceremony!

Congrats Gabe and Kelsey, may you have many years of happiness and joyful years together as man and wife. 

 

Our family picture all except our grandson was missing that day it would have been a perfect family picture but I’m still proud to say this is my family and I’m proud of them.

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

 

Today is St. Patty’s Day and the sunshine and warmth have disappeared.  It’s a blistery day!  The wind is blowing  and the cold has returned  

I found this online and it really fits how I feel ..

I’ve spent my entire day in bed trying to recover.  I still have a Ouchy tooth.  But I’m still wishing you all A …

 

Sunshine and Warmth!

This past week has been gorgeous weather but I’m sick and stuck in bed! I did get a few days that I could get a walk in.  On Tuesday I had to visit my dentist as I have a tooth ache and of course it couldn't be pulled that day so I had to reschedule for April 28th, Yep you read that right unbelievable! I woke up Friday morning and I had a very swollen jaw! I ended up going to the dr and getting test ran to see where all the infection had gone.  Yep, it had spread to my sinus cavity and glands.  So more medication, bed rest and eating soft foods was the orders.

 

Since we’ve had beautiful weather I’ve been enjoying it from within   I tried sitting outside to enjoy some of the fresh air but the minute the wind hit my jar instant pain so it was back indoors and so I left the front door open and enjoyed the sunshine from a laying position. 

I’ve been eating soft foods and so I’m sure that the scales is going to reflect it soon   But I’m not  on a diet, I’m learning to change my life style and so as with all things the good comes with the bad.  Right now I’m doing well to eat things, so mac and cheese, ice cream and yogurt and cottage cheese with chicken noodle soup have been big in my food intakes.  Anything that will fill the tummy and keep the jaw from hurting!

March came in like a Lion!

March came in like a Lion and I’m so hoping that March will go out like a Lamb!  We got more snow and cold temps the first of March!  I can not express how much I am so ready for Spring, Sunshine and warmth!  I have spent my entire winter snuggled up inside and most of it has been spent recovering.  I am happy to announce that I have finished the fillings and now I have to wait a certain amount of time before my expanders can be removed and my implants installed. A tentative surgery date to finish up my breast is set for June 22nd.  It’s been a long & painful recovery but I’m just thankful that as of now my breast are cancer free!  I will have yearly checkups to make sure that no masses or cancer returns. 

On another note of health issues … My hysterectomy has been moved up from June to May 4th!  New cancer cells have been found but on a good note they are not attached to a blood supply or no masses.  I am starting another round of treatment until I can get my surgery to remove my female organs.  I am dreaming of being able to head south next winter.  Florida beaches are calling my name.

Happy 76th Birthday Dad

It’s hard to believe that today is your 76th birthday and you are not here to celebrate it with us.  I know your no longer on earth but you will always remain in my heart.  I know that your celebrating your birthday with you beloved son Steven who you lost so many years ag, our beloved Bobbi Jo who God called home way to early.  I know that you and Momma Viv are happy to be reunited.  I am happy that you are no longer suffering in pain and discomfort as cancer ate away at your body. 

 

Yet my heart still aches for you, my heart has a void, my heart is still broken.  I know that you wanted me to be strong not only for you but my brothers and sisters but daddy no matter how hard I try to let my heart mend it’s still broken over losing you.  There is a piece of me that is missing and that piece is my daddy.  I look back through pictures of you during your last days here on earth and I remember how hard you fought not for yourself but for your children who were not ready to let you go.  I remember you telling me you were ready to go home.  You were tired of fighting a disease that was eating your body up.  You fought hard and strong and you stayed true to your words that you would fight till your very last breathe for your children.

Family meant everything to you, your children and grandchildren were the apple of you eye, the pride that you proudly bared to all that we were yours.  The hugs, the kisses, the I Love you every time we said good bye.  You made sure that every time we had to part we knew just how much you loved us.  You  wore your heart on your sleeve when it came to your family and friends.

I cherish the moments we had together.  I recall each and every time you held me in your arms.  I close my eyes and fill you with your arms wrapped around me.  Oh what I would give to just have you hold me in your arms one more time, to hear you whisper I love you baby girl, just to see your sweet smiling face.

Daddy you are not here to celebrate your birthday but know that you were in my thoughts all day.  I have cried several times today yearning to have you hold me and tell me it will be alright.  I tried to hold close to my heart that you were ready to go home and leave a world your body was filled with pain.  Instead of thinking of how much I hurt that God called you home before I was ready to let you.  I pray to God that he let’s you know that I think of each and every day.  I love to be in the room where you took your last breathe, I love to look at the picture of you that hangs on my wall, I love to feel that you are with me here in your home and in my heart.

Daddy I cherish the family reunion that you so wanted to have before you had to say good bye to us all.  When I look at these pictures I think if only I had known how little of time we actually had left.  I know in my heart you crossed over knowing that your children loved and adored you, your children knew and felt all the love you had for them.  So on this day I want to say Happy Birthday Daddy.  I love you more than words can say!

MS Awareness Week!

MS Awareness Week

This week and entire month is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness.  This disease is close to my own heart as I was diagnosed with SPMS = Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis in September 2000.  I have lived almost 15 years with this debilitating disease. A few years ago test revealed that I actually have PPMS = Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis  It’s hard for anyone looking at me to realize what I endure each and every day living with this disease.  On the outside I look healthy and most people think there is nothing wrong with me.  But that is far from the truth!

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/What-is-MS/Types-of-MS

I place this ribbon with pride on my blog site in hopes that not only awareness but a cure will some day be found for myself and so many others that suffer with this disease.  I have placed a link you can visit to learn more about the disease. 

This picture above says it all and it’s exactly how I feel so many times when someone ask me why I walk with cane and then replies but you look so healthy.   Looks can be deceiving!  Inside my body I have my own war going on.  I have days I am so fatigued that getting out of bed and going to the bathroom is exhausting in it’s own.  Other days I feel like I’m almost human and the pain I experience is unbearable at times and other times I feel I can live among the human race.  For years I have struggled with daily task and I’m trying my best to involve good diet and exercise in my daily routines.

I will not lie, it has been a very hard journey for me.  There are days I just do not want to crawl out of bed but I know that I must.  Exercise is the only thing that is going to keep my muscle built up and keep me out of a wheel chair ( I have been there done that and I hated it)  I’m a walking miracle and I thank God everyday for blessing me with that miracle.  I also know that if I do not make myself get out of bed and do my daily routine of exercise even though I’m exhausted my muscle will deteriorate again.  As you know last winter I spent the entire winter doing water therapy to build my muscle back up and then I spent all summer walking to keep my leg muscles strengthen up.

Living with a disease even though it may be what I call a silent disease ( where you know you have it , but others may not)  this winter I have found some DVD programs that I can do to my own modify version that will keep my muscles toned and strengthened up.  If you or someone you know needs to lose weight, strengthen up your muscles or get or just needs to learn to eat healthier please click on one of my links I have put on my blog and I will gladly help you get started.  The best part is it’s Free!  I have joined a free facebook group and created one of my own just so that I can help people all over the world to get healthier.  It doesn’t matter if you do not have a injury, illness or just want to learn more about health and fitness.  Come join me!

Hope your all having a great week! 

Need help getting started losing weight?

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So don't be afraid. Be brave and join us! Let me help you make 2015 the healthiest year ever! Just PM me for more information or click on on either my team beachbody link or my facebook group to get started … http://www.beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/walts9

Still Recovering …

On Tuesday I had my interstim controller replaced so I am recovering from that surgery as I’m still recovering from bi-lateral mastectomy.  I haven’t been posting much to my blog as I really don’t have anything to blog about.  My months have been spent running to and from doctors appointments.  I have at least one doctor appointment every week and most weeks I have 3 or more days of running to appointments. 

One good thing to being back home is that I get to spend lots of time enjoying and spoiling my grandchildren.  It’s hard to believe next month will be 2 years since returning home to Illinois.  So much has happened in that 2 years time and it’s been a roller coaster ride.  The past year has been spent fighting serious health issues and I have many more months ahead of me yet.  I have at least 2 more surgeries to go through and one is scheduled for June 22nd and the other is depending on my healing process.  I am still dealing with severe pain and swelling from my mastectomy and now I also have a very painful booty!  Trying to lay down to sleep is a challenge in itself as I still have to remain sleeping in an upright position and I can not lay on my tummy or sides and now with my bottom being cut open laying on my back is not a comfortable position either.  I am surrounded by pillows as my arms still have to be propped up on them, my knees  due to back issues and now the bottom has to have pillows.  My days are spent going back and forth from my chair to the bed trying to get comfy.  Just when the chest starts to feel some what better it’s time for another fill.  I have started my reconstruction of the chest area and it’s been very painful.  The doctor tells me regardless had I done reconstruction or not I’d still have the pain and swelling.  She calls it phantom pain and says it can last months to years.  I’m praying it’s not the later. 

I have to be retested in February to make sure my cancer has not spread to any other areas of the body.  To really be considered cancer free the doctors say I have to go a complete year with no cancer before they will declare me cancer free. 

On a good note at least we’ve had a some what decent winter as we haven’t really had any snow or freezing rain.  We did have some cold days but nothing like last winter and the past week the temps have been in the mid 40’s which isn’t bad.  January has been a pretty decent month, now if February and March will be the same.  I am ready for spring and warmer weather.  I miss being in my home on wheels but right now I have to get myself well.  I had hopes to have a great spring and summer but it’s appearing as it’s going to be spent recovering and trying to get well.  I keep telling myself as long as I’m well and ready to hit the road by next winter.  I have hopes and dreams of being able to head south next winter with the snow birds. 

One thing with all the health issues I’ve had this past year it feels right to keep my stick home and so it’s looking like I will not be a full-timer again as it’s important that I have a stick home to come to when health issues hit.  Bladder cancer is a cancer that usually returns at some point and time so that is something that I have to remember.  My dad fought it 3 times before he finally succumb to it and just couldn’t win his last round with it.  I am truly believing I am going to beat the odds and mine will not return.  I am believing my breast cancer will not return.  But I also have to remember that at any time it is possible for both to return.  So having a stick home to go to during health issues is the best thing for me.  I am so thankful I didn’t have to worry about going up and down steps during my illness.  My home is handicap accessible and so it has been much better for me than my home one wheels would have been.  Not only do I have to worry about cancer but I also have to deal with my MS and back issues and so I must remember that at some point in my life I could end up back in a wheel chair.  Last winter my MS relapsed.  I really had to fight hard to come back to find out I had cancer.  This past years medical issues have really made me think long and hard about where and what I need to do for a back up plan.

I hope your all having a great winter where ever you are at.  Until then …

Recovering from bi-lateral mastectomy

Wow, Christmas has come and gone and it’s January already.  I had my bi-lateral mastectomy on December 2nd and am still recovering as well as going through reconstruction.  I plan on posting more about my journey later but right now I am still dealing with emotions and lots of pain!  This has and still is a very painful recovery for me.  The good news is I do not need chemo or radiation and once I get through my reconstruction this ordeal will be over with. 

On another note my bowel and bladder machine battery is dying so it needs to be replaced so I am scheduled for surgery on January 20th for that. 

The weather has turned off extremely cold and it’s suppose to get even colder tomorrow and last about a week.  I dream of day that I can once again move back into my home on wheels and go to warmer weather but right now that just isn’t going to happen.  Health issues have to take first priority. 

I want to wish you all a Happy New Year and May 2015 bring you many blessings and I’m so praying that it’s the year that my health issues turn around and I’ve saw the last of cancer.  I pray that 2015 is the year that I can once again enjoy my home on wheels.