Fall has flown by

The season’s just seem to be flying right on by this year.  Summer has left, Fall is gone and Winter has appeared as it’s been cold with the blustery wind and yesterday we even had large snowflakes falling.  Tomorrow night they are calling for an inch of the white stuff!  Where O where has my time gone?  I had hopes of heading south for the winter this year but those hopes are left behind. 

My spring and summer were spent recovering from bladder surgery and fighting that dreaded word of Cancer, it seems my winter will be spent doing the same!  I am scheduled after Thanksgiving to have a bi-lateral mastectomy (which means double).   I have a mass (tumor) in my left breast that was found and so due to family history of breast cancer it’s been decided to do go ahead and do both, might as well get it over with.  I do not know what the future holds in regards to treatment until my biopsy comes back.  After I recover from this I will be having a hysterectomy as well due to a family history of ovarian cancer.  Once again I will be spending my winter months in the blustery cold Illinois. 

I have hopes and dreams of one day again enjoying taking my home on wheels where ever I choose to roam.  But for now I need to concentrate on my recovery and getting my body healed. 

On a good note I have lost 66 lbs and have a bit more to go.  Here are my before and after picture, this picture was taken the 2nd week of October of this year the the other picture was taken in November of 2013.

I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Summer is almost gone!

Wow, it seems like spring just arrived and now summer is almost over .. it has flown by and I have nothing to post about what I have done.  My entire summer has been running back and forth to doctor visits, treatments and therapy.  I’ve also spent a lot of time with my grandkids this summer.  I only got to stay at my home on wheels a couple times this spring and I have to admit I have missed it but it has also been nice not having to deal with steps and living in a stick home during my illness. 

Sometimes in life we have to make decisions that are best for us even though their not what our heart desires.  My heart still has the desire to live in a home on wheels and travel and see new things.  I miss old friends I have bonding relationships with as well as making new friends in the places we travel.  But health issues and family seem to take a back seat to all those things.

I have put a ticker on my blog so that you all know that I am still alive and kicking and you can see how I’m doing in my weight loss struggles.  I have to admit the weight loss is not going as fast as I want but my doctor assures me I am doing great and losing at a good safe pace that is better for me in the end.

It’s been a beautiful summer and just a few weeks of extremely hot days, but I have to admit with pride I’m been good and haven’t complained during those heat spells.  Today it feels like fall and a reminder that its just around the corner and before I know it Ole man winter will be here again.  I had hope to be able to hook up to the home on wheels and spend some of the cold months where it was warmer but that isn’t appearing to be a option this year either.  So it’s looking like I will be spending another ole cold winter living in the stick home. 

I have to admit I do love the fall colors, the smells and all the great foods that go with it and I’m hoping to get to spend a bit of time at the home on wheels but it’s very doubtful at this point and time.  Convention for RVers is coming up the first week in October and I so want to go but I’m just not sure my health will be up to it so for now I am taking life one day at time.

I pray you are all having a great summer .. until next time .. God Bless

Wow where has the time gone?  It's been a busy summer with the grand kids.  Running to and from doctor appointments and treatments.  I'm dealing with health issues and it doesn't appear to be an end to it at this time.  My Aunt (who raised me until i was 6) is also having health issues and i've been going with her as well for appointments and testing.  Between her and I at least 4 days a week are spent at the doctor or hospital.  Weekends have been spent enjoying family time or trying to catch up on rest to get ready for the next week.

The grand kids have returned back to school so that has helped let up on that part.  Although the first few days was nice to have some alone time but now i'm beginning to miss them :)

Until this past week we've had a very pleasant summer weather wise but wow it's a hot one this week with horrible humidity and as you all know my asthma and MS does not like this weather.  But i am being good and not complaining as winter will be here before i want it to be.

I am still living in my dad's home and in fact I've only been to the home on wheels a few times .. just too many things going on in my personal life.  I'm still having health issues and at this time i am not really ready to get into all of that.  I just ask that you continue to keep me in your prayers.

On a good note my son's both seem to be doing good, the oldest son is getting his life more normal and has seemed to be free of so much drama (fingers crossed it continues) the youngest son has made a job career change and that seems to be going well for him.  The fur balls are doing great and i'm enjoying spending time with family.

Well that is all i have for now, wishing you all a great Labor Day weekend!

Day 3

Today is the 3rd since my surgery and I thought I was feeling pretty good until I tried to sit up and found I was not ready for that step yet!  It was a beautiful day, the temps were in the low 80’s and I was stuck in bed!  Go figure!  I have waited all winter long for these days and now that they are here I’m stuck in bed! 

Surgery went well

I just wanted to post a quick update.  My surgery went well and I’m looking at a recovery period of 6-8 weeks.  Right now I’m mostly sleeping.

where have I been?

Wow, it’s hard to believe it’s been almost 2 months since my last post!  I can imagine your all wondering where I have been or what I’ve been doing?  Well there has been very little down time and lots of personal, family and health issues going on in my life.  It’s been cold and what a very cold and nasty winter it has been.  Ole man winter has hung on till the very end and finally it seems Spring has finally Sprung!

I am still living in house and there doesn’t seem that there will be any changes in that department for sometime.  I have to say that I have been enjoying spending time with family that I missed while on the road, but my heart also longs to be back on the road again but at this time my health and family is top priority. 

So let’s see if I can give you a bit of a run down, after I posted my last blog post.  My son and family moved in and was here around a month in a half and my days was spent driving the kids back and forth from school, in between that I was doing physical therapy 2 times a week and dealing with more deaths and illness in the family.  Then my sister’s grandkids moved in temporally due to a illness of their mother.  So I was still dealing with kids back and forth to school in a different town and lots of ball practices and older activities for the 8th grader.   Not only have I been dealing with these issues but also my own illness.  I will be having surgery Thursday and recovery time could be up to 3-6 months.  Of course I’m praying for God to heal me much faster.  I have also been struggling with losing weight!  It’s been a hard winter and this has been one ruff battle with the weight struggle.  For health issues I need to shed 50 more lbs and at times I’m ready to throw in the towel and have gastric bypass surgery.  The doctors keep telling me I’ve done good to lose 20 lbs in such a severe winter and not being able to exercise due to health issues and the extreme temps.  So for now I will continue to fight the battle of the bulge and other health issues.

Life seems to be a roller coaster ride for me that I just can not get off of .. I want to wish you all a Happy Easter tomorrow and may God bless each and everyone of you.  May we celebrate the true meaning of Easter and remember the sacrifice that Jesus gave for all of us. 

Sunshine and Warmth!

On Tuesday I got up and got dressed and it was such a beautiful day.  The sun was shining, the temps were near 60 degrees!  I went to St. Louis and Alton shopping with Daddy Tom, Momma Rosie and my Aunt Louis.  We always have a great time and it’s great to get out of the house!!  We always laugh and laugh.  I know now where I get my craziness from .. it’s apart of my gene pool on the Jackson side!  We went shopping and as always daddy takes us all out to lunch.  Tuesday’s treat was Ponderosa!  OH it’s so good and the best part is daddy Tom gets cake and doesn’t want his icing so I get to eat it!   

Later that night I heard sirens and saw the lights and I went outside to look and it appeared to be at my Aunt Barb’s .. Please remember her in pray as she is on life support and not doing very good. 

Wednesday was another beautiful day and with the sun shining I spent as much time as I could outside.  I even got all the snow and ice cleaned off my back patio.  It’s been months since it’s been that clean from snow and ice!  Later in the afternoon Daddy and Mommy showed up to pick me up and we went to visit Aunt Louis.  Had a great visit and that evening my precious jewels came to spend the night .. so I got a double treat! 

Thursday .. wow the temps went really high with a high of 68 degrees!  It almost feels like summer!  I had to get up early and get the grand kids ready for school and drop them off before I could start my day.  I rode to Jacksonville with Daddy and Mommy and we had a great day.  Found a new thrift store called the Attic and got me some good deals.  I needed some pillow cases really badly and they had em for a .25 cents! 

On our way home we stopped at Aunt Louis and visited and Aunt Pearl was there so it was icing on the cake to get to see her.  I got some more bad news .. my brother in law passed away yesterday.  RIP Rusty Blackburn .. he had been very sick and in lots of pain for sometime and his wish finally came true.  He is now in heaven with his beloved wife (my sister) Rosemary who passed away 2 years ago this coming March.  It seems that with every good thing in my life there is always a bad thing right behind it. 

Later in the evening the weather took a turn for the worse and the winds picked up and the electric kept going on and off.  Wow, Mr Wind sounds like he is coming through the walls.  There are tornado warnings and wind adversary’s everywhere .. it’s a good night to just curl up on the couch and snuggle with my babies.  none of them are enjoying the sound of the wind.  One of the shutters on the outside of house is just a banging and I’ve noticed several shingles in the yard   Looks like this spring I’m gonna have to find someone to come replace those missing shingles.

I enjoyed the warm weather while it lasted and it gave me a taste of spring that I am so looking forward too.  But it appears Mr. Winter is not ready to leave and it’s going to continue to get colder with temps back in the single digits next week!

I will just take what life has to offer and when it’s lemons .. I will just make lemon aide!!

How Do I Begin …

I titled my blog today with the title of a poem that my niece Amy wrote for her loving brother who we recently lost.  It is so how I feel about writing this blog post.  It was a year ago today that we pulled out of Ajo AZ to head home because of some personal issues with our oldest son and grand kids.  So much has happened in my life this past year.  Some of it not good.  It feels like my life has been on a roller coaster ride the past several years and there has been much grief, hurt and pain in my life.  There has been happiness as well, but the happiness seems less then good.  I am thankful for my faith and being able to trust that my heavenly father has given me the strength to endure this ride.  God has embraced me and I know that this too shall pass and in the end I will become a much stronger person.  I have held together as God created a strong endurable woman when he created me.  God blessed me with gifts of courage, to be strong and stand up fight for my family and beliefs.  That is what I have done this past year.  There have been days when I have been weary and wondered if I could go on but my father always picks me up and holds me tight.  I can feel my  father encouraging me to be strong.  God has blessed me with a wonderful family and friends whom I have leaned upon (you know who are).

 

I know that there are many ruff roads ahead as I am still dealing with several issues, including health but as I have always done my entire life.  I will stand strong on my faith and in the end I will learn from my experiences and I will become a better person because I endured.  I have learned that as long as I lean upon my faith, trust and believe “with God all things are possible” I am living proof.

It’s been one ruff winter with lots of snow, severely cold temps and lots of hibernating!  Lots of back, neck and knee pains I have been experiencing.   I have accepted the fact that pain is apart of my life and enduring it is all I can do.  We’ve had snow 1-2 times a week any where from a dusting to up to 10” and we’ve went weeks with below freezing temps and a lots of below zero temps!  If temps reached the low 20’s it’s felt like a heat wave!  Were dealing with high utility cost due to the extreme cold temps as most of the nation is!

looking out my back door .. this is the view I have experienced most of the winter

On a good note something I have been doing when the weather permits is getting to visit with family members that I haven’t spent time with in years!  Every afternoon Papa Tom and Momma Rosie picks me up and we head to my Aunt Louise house to drink soda (me) and coffee (them).  We have a great time visiting and sometimes I get blessed with my other aunt’s Pearl and Betty, and cousin Carrie coming by and saying hello.  I’ve come to enjoy these moments this winter.  Their the highlight of my day.   I’ve also started playing Bunco every other Tuesday night with family and I’ve enjoyed that.

This is the grand dog Oreo who is normally an outside dog but because the temps have been so cold he has become an inside dog.  Oreo seems to be enjoying the indoors, although he does get bored and likes to be put back outside during the day if the sun is shining.  He barks to come inside and he barks to go outside

I’ve always been blessed to get to spend lots of great time spoiling Hurricane Hailey and Tornado Toby my precious grand jewels!  I’ve missed the warm temps and being outdoors this winter but in return I have to admit it’s been worth it with the memories and love I have been blessed with. 

My winter has been spent spending time with family and wishing for warmer weather.  I’m so ready for Spring and being able to get outdoors.  I guess you could say that I’m starting to get back into the life style of living in one place.  I have to admit my heart yearns and misses traveling but I have to also admit I have missed some wonderful memories with family members that are no longer with us.  Traveling is like anything else you give up some things to gain others and the same with living in one place.  Right now because of circumstances in life I am giving up my hearts desire of seeing and exploring new places in exchange for memories with family members that I love very much.  Regardless of bad or good situations that have been thrown my way and weather I am living my life in an RV traveling and exploring new places or living in my dad’s home.  I am truly blessed because regardless where I am living, I am still a child of God’s and I am living my life the best possible way that I can to honor my father and in return my heart is being filled with memories that I will always hold dear to me.  That is what the true meaning of life is.   Hope your all have a great winter.

In Memory of Bubba who may be gone but will never be forgotten

Today we had the memorial service for nephew Little Larry .. of course the weather did not corporate and we had severe cold, snow, ice and the roads were terrible.  But even Ole man winter did not stop us from celebrating our beloved Little Larry’s life. 

We had lots of pictures  of his life

We setup a memory tree with cards for guest to share a favorite memory with for his dad and sister to go back later and look at

My aunts and cousins always go together and get a angel when there is a death in the family

The service was started out with the song “I Will Rise”  by Chris Tomlin ..

My brother Larry and his daughter Amy lit a candle to start the service off with

My husband Lenny did the ministerial part of the service … He welcomed friends and family

My niece Amy read a poem she wrote for her little brother

How do I begin to say Goodbye

to someone who’s so dear

Someone I have always loved

who wiped away my tears

No matter what came my way

whether happiness or pain

you were always on my side

Your love I felt so plain

 

Family and friends meant everything

you always had their backs

No matter what you’d be right there

That was a well known fact

 

How do I begin to say Goodbye

I’m really not so sure

To someone who I love deep

so complete and so pure

 

My children ask a lot about you

I tell them everything

the good, the bad, the happy, the sad

I don’t want to miss a thing

dad and I have this covered

don’t worry about it any

They’ll know exactly who you were

for the stories we have plenty

Ho do I begin to say Goodbye

it makes my heart so heavy

There’s so much I want to say

my heart just isn’t ready

 

Your contagious laugh, and great smile

are among the things I’ll miss

But most of all it’s simply hearing

the words, I love you sis

Although we were miles apart

we shared a special bond

I felt it every time we talked

Now, I feel it from beyond

 

So there’s no need to say Goodbye

You’re with me every day

I’ll simply say “I love you Bubba”

See you again some day

Then the memorial DVD played with songs

Lenny read scriptures and gave words of comfort to the family.  something Lenny said that myself and many of us will never forget is .. We have pain right now, pain turns to memories and memories turn to love.  Our love we have for Little Larry will never leave our hearts.  So in truth Little Larry will always remain with us even though his soul has passed from this earth.  What an amazing gift of words to the family. 

Larry and Amy gave each other a long stem Rose in memory of Little Larry

we had a wonderful meal after the service and shared many memories and stories of our beloved

Our Aunts were there to support us .. We draw our strength from these very strong ladies

All of dad’s kids .. Larry, Patty, sitting L-R Cheryl, Jimmy, me, Ronnie and Rosie

Of course as always in the Jackson family lots of love going on

Patty and me kissing Larry

Larry kissing our sister in law Cindy (my brother Jimmy’s wife)

Larry with his daughter Amy and her family .. It was a day filled with tears of sadness, tears of joy and lots of love as we remembered and honored our beloved Little Larry. 

Bubba fly high and know that even though you have departed this earth, you will never leave our hearts.  Our memories we shall cherish until we meet again on the other side.  Your work here on earth is done .. God has called you home so spread your wings and fly high.  RIP Bubba!

In Loving Memory of Larry Eugene Jackson II

late January 16th we received that dreaded phone call about my nephew in Texas. My brother Larry’s son Larry II was on life support and was brain dead.  His parents had some heart breaking decisions to make.  The family gathered around and waited for the final diagnose.  My brother Ronnie and I packed a bag and headed out to Texas with our brother Larry for a final goodbye to a loving son and nephew.

On the way down Lil Larry was so unstable that some decisions were made over the phone on the way there.  His parents decided to donate his organs to help save someone else.  Their son was gone but his organs could help another family waiting for a miracle.  God takes someone we love so much and in return his parents are able to give to another in their time of grieving.  What an amazing gift these parents gave to someone else.

We arrived and my brother signed the paper work needed to end his son time here on earth.  Final goodbyes were said and we all left with a broken heart.  A  29 year old baby boy was gone!  Born September 20, 1984 and departed January 18, 2014

Larry, Jean and Little Larry (above) Grandpa (my dad) and Lil Larry (below)

Here are some pictures from some wonderful memories that we will hold dear to our hearts until we meet again.

 

He was so adorable and that smile could get him anything!

In his younger days

Lil Larry with cousin James and Grandpa Red, who was so proud of his grandchildren

the Little Larry we will all remember with his jokester and cocky grin .. he was such a good hearted person who loved his family with all he had.

Miss Me – But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road

and the sun has set for me

I want no tears in a gloom filled room

Why cry for a soul set free

Miss me a little but not too long

and not with your head bowed low

Remember the love that once we shared

Miss Me – but let me go

For this is a journey we all must take

and for each must go alone

It’s all apart of a bigger plan

A step on the road to home

and when you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to the friends we know

and bury your tears in their loving arms

Miss Me – But Let Me Go

Those dreaded last moments .. saying goodbye to a beloved son, brother, nephew, cousin and friend …

One of the last good pictures of him with his mom Jean and his brother Lucas .. he loved his family dearly

These last 2 pictures will be how the family remembers our beloved Little Larry!  He sent this picture to his sister Amy blowing kisses to her even though they were hundreds of miles apart.  You can see the love he had and no amount of miles could stop him from showing his love.

Because his family is broken between Illinois and Texas each will be holding a memorial to honor his memory.  We have  planned for  our family and friends on February 2nd at 1.00 PM to honor his memory. 

RIP our beloved Little Larry and we will always remember you blowing kisses from heaven.  You will be greatly missed but your memory will remain forever in our hearts.