Passing of my Step Dad

Monday was another crazy day.  We had just got home from making our dad’s arrangements and were at dad’s waiting for the funeral home to show up for us to go over some more things.  We received a call we needed to get to our sister house right away our step dad had taken a turn for the worse. 

Marvin Cox 1933 – 2012 .. he was 79

My brother stayed to wait on funeral home and us girls went over to our sister house.  We got there and there was lots going on.  Our step dad was full of fluid and drowning in his own fluids.  He was so miserable and we saw him and he told us he loved us and they had to sedate him.  It was another ruff day and night.  My dad died at 6.45 Pm on Sunday June 24th and our step dad died Tuesday June 26th at 6.50 AM.   36 hours and 5 mins later our step dad had passed away as well. 

We had dad’s visitation on Tuesday night, Dad’s funeral on Wednesday and my step dad’s visitation and funeral on Thursday.  It’s like our family is living in a night mare and we can not wake up.  Now we have no more parents left they are all passed on and i pray that they are all having a sweet reunion together.

Dad is finally at Peace

Charles (Red) Jackson JR .. 1939 – 2012 .. 73 yrs

 

It’s been a difficult few weeks.  On Monday June 18th dad put me through many roller coasters.  In February dad was diagnosed with stage IV prostate/bladder cancer.  Dad didn’t want to know if the cancer had returned or what his outlook was. so we kept as much as possible from him.  None of discussed dad’s outlook, we just wanted him to enjoy his days he had left with us.  When dad got sick in March and i was on the road i prayed God would spare him until i got home.  God answered that prayer.

What I didn’t know was that God was going to make me go through one of the hardest times of my life. That Monday morning i questioned the doctors to great extreme’s exactly what was going on with dad.  His outlook was gloomy.  He didn’t have much time to live, the cancer had spread throughout his entire body.  The last scan showed cancer everywhere in every organ. Later that morning after the doctor’s had left and spoken to me and then dad, we put dad in the recliner and i sat by his side talking about all the things he wanted.  He was telling me how he knew cancer had gotten him this time.  He had beaten 2 strikes but this 3rd strike was going to beat him.  He was tired and ready to stop fighting.  He knew us kids were not ready to let him go but we had to.  I teared up and turned my head from dad.  He made me look at him and i couldn’t, cause i knew his time was near.  Dad finally made me look at him and he told me not to cry.  He told me that he knew he was dying and wanted me to tell him what i knew.  I told him i couldn’t cause we had decided tomorrow after our family meeting with the doctors we would tell him then if he wanted to know.  He told me no, he needed to hear it from me and he wanted to know what i knew cause he already knew.  I dug deep for the strength my dad had given me and i asked him if he was sure he was ready to hear what i knew because i questioned the doctors and i knew it all.  He said yes and i want you to tell me without tears.  I told dad i couldn’t promise that but would do my best.  I gathered my strength that i get from my daddy.  I told him he was right the cancer was everywhere and he had less then a month to live.  Dad wiped a tear that rolled down my face and told me it was time.  He was tired and ready to die, that he didn’t have months but less then few weeks.  He knew his time here with us was almost to end.  He told me things he wanted done that he had already told my sister Patty. 

( Dad a few weeks ago with my Uncle Lloyd)

dad accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.  We spent the day together talking about many things and God was one of those things.  Dad had been praying and we talked.  I asked him if he knew Jesus as his Savior and he said no.  I asked if he knew how and he said no. He asked me if i could share with him how he could.  I told him the basic steps on how to receive christ.  Repent of your sins, with the sincerest of your heart ask God to forgive him for all his sins he had committed, ask God to come into his heart and be his savior and to confess with his mouth that he has accepted Jesus Christ, God’s son who was sent to this world to die on the cross for our sins and through his son, Jesus Christ blood was shed for us and confessing these things anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved and have eternal life. 

Dad was extremely fatigued and struggled to stay awake so i told him to rest and think about the things i explained to him.  That this was not a choice i could make for him, it was not a choice he could make for me but a choice he had to mean with all of his heart and want for himself.  As dad rested i prayed to God that I had said all the right things, i prayed to God if i hadn’t he would give me another chance, I also prayed for God to send me someone who could handle this that was better prepared then i was as this was my father and i knew he had little time left and i was scared i was not doing all the right things.  Later the hospital Chaplin stopped by but dad was resting and wouldn’t wake up so we talked and she told me i had said and did all the right things it was up to dad.  She told me to continue to pray and she would too.

Later in the afternoon my sister called to say her son felt he needed to bring his pastor later that night to see dad and wanted to make sure it was okay.  I broke down in tears as i felt God has answered my prayers.  I told her what had happened and we cried together and later that evening her son Brad and Pastor Larry showed up.  Dad had woke up and i told him Brad and his pastor was coming to see him and asked if it was okay and he smiled and said yes.  They showed up and Pastor Larry talked to dad and he was able to stay awake the entire time.  Although I have to admit dad gave me one of the best memories a child may receive. That night my daddy accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior and the glow on my daddy’s face is the last imagine that will live forever in my heart and mind. 

Later after they left dad woke up and we talked and he thanked me for being there.  He then took my hand and looked me in the eyes and said “take me home to be with my family so i can die in peace, now that I have accepted God it’s all you kids need to do is get me home, have my family around me, my time is close and i can now die in peace. 

I'm morning the loss of my beloved father.  We brought dad home on Wednesday June 20th and he had a couple of good days with visiting with family and friends.  I went home on Thursday night as it seemed dad was doing good and my sister and nieces had his med’s and care under control.  I woke up around 1 am and knew something was wrong. Finally around 3 am I called to talk to my niece and dad was having a ruff time.  I grabbed my clean clothes out of the dryer and out the door we went.

 

(A month earlier .. dad doing what he loved .. playing with his great grandkids)

When i arrived dad was delusion and struggling when we got there, we had to do what he didn’t want and give him medication to settle him down.  Dad held on for another 2 days and they were very ruff for my family.  It was horrible seeing our beloved father lay there in that condition.  Saturday was a ruff day for our entire family.  One of my sisters passed out and had a seizer from the stress.  Then on Sunday my brother went down and my same sister did again.  We all survived nights and days of no sleep and trying to hold strong for dad.  Dad fought his hardest to the very end as he promised his kids he would.

We had a wonderful support group of aunt’s, uncle’s, cousin’s and friends.  I do not know what we would have done without them all. Sunday June 24th dad finally let go.  It was hard but us kids held strong and knowing that our father is in God’s hands has given us peace with his passing.  He is now with the 2 women he loved the most, his wife Mamma Viv and my mom, he is embracing his baby boy steven that he longed to see that died at a month and 2 days and his daughter Bobby Jo.  Rest in peace daddy we love and will miss you but your past fews years of suffering are over.

decisions are made for dad

Well today has been a hard day for my family.  We met with the medial team in dad’s room this morning and discussed our options for the best possible care for dad to have the best quality of life that he has left.  We listened to the doctors, we expressed our concerns and most importantly we listened to what dad wanted to do.  Tears were shed and decisions were made. 

I’m staying again tonight at the hospital with dad as the rest of the family goes to his home and prepares it for his arrival tomorrow.  Dad clearly stated he wanted to go home to die.  We all agreed to respect his wishes.  Dad will be released from the hospital tomorrow with round the clock care from the family with the help of hospice.

Lots of preparations are needed with medical equipment and lots of changing around of his home.  While that is all being done i’m staying with dad and making him as comfortable as possible.  Dad has been diagnosed with stage IV Prostate/bladder cancer.  The cancer has spread throughout his body and with the bowel obstruction.

Because his bowels still are not functioning even after surgery and numerous treatments he will be going home with a NG tube and oxygen only.  As of today there is a order of DNR that dad had put in place a while back and given to us kids to use when we were ready to let him go.  Sadly today we are honoring our dad’s wish and have given the orders.  Dad does not want any type of life sustaining equipment.

I will be spending as much time as possible with my dad in the last days of his life.  Please pray for my family as letting go of someone you love is very hard.  I know that dad is going to a better place and he will soon be reunited with family he hasn’t seen for sometime. 

update on my dad

Spent last night and will be again tonight at the hospital with dad.  I’ve talked to the doctors .. the news on my dad is not good and tomorrow there is a family meeting being held with the doctors to decide what our next step should be for dad. We know that we are now in stage IV of his cancer.  It’s such a tragedy to see how much change since the last time i saw him.  

All of plans have been put on hold until further notice.  No family vacation as there is preparations needed to be done to prepare for what is ahead of us. 

Please pray for my dad and our entire family as we face some very hard decisions tomorrow and in the near future

Where am I?

It’s been awhile since i have posted.  Life has been very hectic for us.  My dad is still in the hospital having ups and downs and recently it’s more downs as he is getting much weaker.  Dad had to have bowel blockage surgery a week ago Thursday and having complications.  We are basically back to where we started before the surgery except dad is much weaker then before.  It took dad over 6 hours to come out of the recovery room and off the ventilator. 

We have been spending as much time as possible with the grand kids as our son and daughter in law are separated and it’s a ruff time for the kids right now.   Our son has been staying with us until he can get a place of his own.  So we have lots going on there.  Papa and Grandma always enjoy the time we get to spend with our precious jewels.

In between time we’ve been busy with everyday life and i just haven’t had time or really much to post about that isn’t life’s problems.  The temps have warmed up and so being outside is miserable with the heat.  We had made plans to take a trip the 24th of June through July 8 but it’s looking like that vacation will be put on hold with all that is going on in our lives right now.

Our summer has has not been a summer of fun and traveling but i’m just thankful we are back home with all that is going on in our lives right now.  We’ve also had to replace our convertor this past week and several other expensive repairs.

 

I hope your summer is going better then mine .. i just wanted those of you who are not in contact with me to know YES I’m alive and well just extremely busy with everyday life.

My dad is back in the hospital

Well most of Saturday was spent cuddled up inside with an aching back and staying in the warmth of our home … In fact i was showered in my flannel pj’s early.  Late Saturday night Tyson and his family showed up to spend the night. 

We had an enjoying Sunday morning enjoying the grandkids and visiting with friends and then i got a phone call that my dad was on his way to hospital.  Once i found out they were admitting my dad we headed to the hospital to relieve my sister so she could take my brother home, get a shower and pack her a bag to spend the night with dad.

We spent time with dad at the hospital .. my sister came back and I'm so thankful to her that she can stay with dad .. there is no way that i can spend the night .. i’m down in my back from the time i spent sitting in those uncomfy chairs.  I feel guilty at times as there really isn’t much i can do to help dad or my sister.

We got home late and i took some pain meds and went to bed but as you can see I'm back up with an aching back .. they think dad has bowel blockage again .. please continue to pray for him .. he is in so much pain.

oh it’s cold again!

May ends with rain showers and temps dropping .. June starts with the cold & cloudy skies!  We played games with friends last night and the guys won the first 2 games and the women won the last 2.  We’ve been busy with just life things but not really much to blog about.  This summer appears to be a summer of life and all the bumps in the road.

My dad is not doing well again, now my sister is having some health issues and our oldest son is struggling with some personal issues.  I ask that you remember all 3 in your prayers.  We are thankful that we can be here for all of them. 

 

I did snap a picture of my Lilly's before they died out .. they are beautiful just don’t last long enough.  We have been discussing and trying to plan what we want to do this winter.  It’s hard to decide what we should do with all that is going on in our lives right now.  It’s seems to be a toss up between Florida and Arizona.